Thursday, January 15, 2015

Relationship communication

Synonyms of relationships: confusing, frustrating, annoying, fun, and outright mysterious.  

The past few months there was a girl that I was interested in.  We spent lots of time together, texted each other often. Things seemed great. We were not dating but it seemed to be heading in that direction.  I thought things were normal until, as happens in many relationships, there began to be some serious mixed signals.  I wasn't so sure about them but just told myself not to think too much about them.  Well as happens, I thought too much about them.  In my insecurity in the situation I was finally forced pin her down with direct questions and to squeeze out answers.  As it turns out she is not so interested me, sad, yes, but it happens.  But why did the see-saw have to go on for so long? Why would someone text someone late into the night, and then the very next day barely acknowledge the same person.  A mystery I will never know.  

But what I do know is that if we would just speak our minds to people, we could save a lot of time and reduce a lot of stress.  I don't know the reasons why the girl in which I was interested avoided sharing her mind, but  upon self-examination I found that I am guilty of the same crime.  It wasn't until things got really crazy that I went looking for answers.  Maybe it is because we are scared of what those answers really maybe.  

From now on and in future relationships I am going to be timely (not too hasty) on when I explain where I think things are at.  I won't try and figure things out by the small social cues and flirty hints. I will wait to confirm my assumptions with verbal confirmations.  Interpretations need to be clear, and when it comes to relationships, clarity is something you can't have enough of. 


  1. Amen. Been there, done that. I think that being able to verbally communication is so important in relationships. I once dated someone who was really good at this. I would always think, "We should really talk about (fill in the blank here)." She would actually bring it up. I was afraid to because I was over-thinking it. When she would just bring it up and we would talk about it, it ended up being very painless, and it always solved the problem.

  2. Taylor, I think you brought up a real good point and it deserves attention. When it comes to dating, I've found that communication is often left out of the scene until one person or the other person gains enough courage to speak their mind. With that said, the only antidote for bad communication is to be vulnerable! Don't follow any so-called rules. Do what feels best at the time. Either way, things turn out better for us because we get results faster that way. So if you had a great time on a date and want to go on another one, tell that person soon! If they back away then okay! On to the next person!

  3. Communication is the basis of a strong relationship. Without trust, honesty, and being open with each other, it makes it difficult to grow in your relationship. A great BYU devotional I recently studied was The Right Person, the Right
    Place, the Right Time by Thomas B. Holman. Strongly recommend reading it. Sometimes learning experiences can be hard to go through, but you'll look back one day and be grateful for it!