Thursday, January 29, 2015

The Joys of Shared Apartments

I like living in an apartment with 5 other dudes.  It can be fun, at times a blast, until. . .

One Problem that I have is that I work early morning custodial, not a resume builder but it keeps me fed.  Because I wake up at 4:15 a.m., I usually try to get to some shut eye early so that I can avoid the same (eye’s being shut), the next day in class.  I love my roommates.  I love my roommate’s friends.  I consider my roommates friends as my friends.  But sometimes they need be my friend,… some other time. 

I guess it is an inner conflict of telling people that it is time to leave.  I am not scared of offending, I am good at that, I just need to be responsible and do it. 

People are finally getting the hint. The other day I had my covers over my head while someone in the room (who doesn’t live at our apartment) was doing homework and talking to my other roommate.  It took them a while but they finally realized it would be a good idea to leave. 

My favorite was there was this one night where I came home to 4 to 5 people in my room all with laptops and headsets etc. having a StarCraft tournament.  (My room’s not that big by the way).  It was cool and all being surrounded by coordinated warfare with the sound effects and all, but sleeping more than 5 hours is nice as well.

I can’t really blame anyone but myself.  If I want to, I can just ask people to leave.  I am going to be more responsible from now on and get to bed on time.  To do it I am going to have to enlist the support of my roommates/their friends in this worthy cause. 

Friday, January 23, 2015

Making Corrections

This week at work my work crew was switched around.  I was ended up working with another girl and unfortunately I made her really upset.  What did I do? Well I suggested that she do the process a “better way”.  I was light hearted and didn’t mean it to be insulting, but sometimes I don’t think that there is a right way to correct a person.  After I mentioned the “better way” she was visibly upset and said “The way I have been doing it has been just fine.”

In communicating we need to be tactful, but sometimes I feel as if there is no ‘right way’ to say something.

I do think it is important that we work on saying things in the right way as to not insult people.  It is an art, and to be good at it will make for a happy life.  Sometimes it may even be best to not say anything at all, but where is that point then?

I am going to try to be better at making suggestions or offers to help that will come across as less demeaning.  Also when others have to correct me, I need to make sure I do not get offended myself.   

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Relationship communication

Synonyms of relationships: confusing, frustrating, annoying, fun, and outright mysterious.  

The past few months there was a girl that I was interested in.  We spent lots of time together, texted each other often. Things seemed great. We were not dating but it seemed to be heading in that direction.  I thought things were normal until, as happens in many relationships, there began to be some serious mixed signals.  I wasn't so sure about them but just told myself not to think too much about them.  Well as happens, I thought too much about them.  In my insecurity in the situation I was finally forced pin her down with direct questions and to squeeze out answers.  As it turns out she is not so interested me, sad, yes, but it happens.  But why did the see-saw have to go on for so long? Why would someone text someone late into the night, and then the very next day barely acknowledge the same person.  A mystery I will never know.  

But what I do know is that if we would just speak our minds to people, we could save a lot of time and reduce a lot of stress.  I don't know the reasons why the girl in which I was interested avoided sharing her mind, but  upon self-examination I found that I am guilty of the same crime.  It wasn't until things got really crazy that I went looking for answers.  Maybe it is because we are scared of what those answers really maybe.  

From now on and in future relationships I am going to be timely (not too hasty) on when I explain where I think things are at.  I won't try and figure things out by the small social cues and flirty hints. I will wait to confirm my assumptions with verbal confirmations.  Interpretations need to be clear, and when it comes to relationships, clarity is something you can't have enough of.